Steve: My journey with Antioch Orlando, fall 2015 to present (August 2023).
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him who is the head, that is, Christ.
–Ephesians 4:15
This is a love story.
This is a truth story.
Love without truth is only mere emotional sentiment. Truth without love can become a graceless judgmental weapon. There is but one head and one authority over the church, that is Christ.
In my coming to Antioch Orlando I tried to be obedient to Him.
In my leaving I tried to do the same.
I followed Antioch Orlando’s delegated leadership until I could no longer do so in good conscience. It’s now time to obey Christ and tell my story as completely as is kind and full of grace.
I am not the judge of Antioch Orlando, that is its head, our mutual Lord.
Miriam and I began attending Antioch Orlando in the late spring of 2018. We had so loved our experience under Pastor Sean at Antioch Boston, and were very connected to an amazing life group of mature couples there. Antioch Orlando was more of a stretch, yet Mary Ellen and Dick embraced us and have remained our friends even in our leaving.
John urged us to stay and provide godly parenting to the large flock of college students and young adults. It was difficult on some levels, no adults our own age, and the worship style was very different. Yet the love bombing, the opportunity to invest deeply in the next generation of faith, and the promise of a forever family and community soon made being there a joy.
The young people’s enthusiasm for the Lord and each other drew my heart to all of you. I felt and since feel fiercely protective of each and every one of you. I set out to love you well over the next two years. On trips to Sweden, Colombia, Germany, Little Rock, and New Orleans our bonding sweetened deeply.
I had opportunity for sweet service to all of you through intercession, counseling, and teaching. I felt beloved, respected and engaged. It seemed this would be my last church.
My role with John was close – helping him jump start and finish his first book, whispering to him what my impressions were as to the challenges we faced and the path ahead. He was a graduate of the same Bible school as me, we both loved baseball, we both wanted to make an impact in your lives and for the Kingdom worldwide.
I secretly struggled with his lack of mercy, and told him so gently. His position on authority seemed unnecessarily harsh, very different even from Pastor Sean’s in Boston. There were many time where any differences of opinion (mine or others’) was met with ridicule, removal from leadership, and disconnection emotionally.
Yet, I felt the benefit of the community overrode the struggles. I kept my head down and tried to cover his back with those who were harmed and dismissed.
The first was one of my leaders on our trip to Sweden. Her quiet walk with the Lord impressed me, and did her loving service to us all under her care. Shortly after our return to the U.S., she was disciplined and removed from leadership (a pattern I saw dozens of times before leaving myself).
She told me her sin was to suggest the need for more in-depth teaching. Over and over I ignored this pattern (perhaps I chose to, knowing what would be my fate to question it).
I also began to see many being told God’s will for their lives – concerning who to date, what to study, other major life decisions. As a believer we all can hear the Spirit of God, but rather than encouraging this – it seemed “spiritual authority” gave leadership the right to judge which decisions everyone should make.
No one ever was told to go to their boyfriend or girlfriend’s church, not going on a mission trip was ever God’s will. The greatest sins seemed to be disagreement with the opinions of leadership on these matters.
Anyone who did was soon labelled prideful, selfish, disobedient, ungrateful, and therefore unqualified for leadership. I saw many just believe these things, many weeping in my arms over the loss of a love, a leadership position, money for a trip or class their heart told them was not God’s plan.
To those I failed when you came to me for help and support, please accept my sincere apologies. So many of you are very often on my mind and heart still – prayer by name for your walk towards Christian maturity.
Always in my heart, no matter how you feel towards me.
I Left Antioch Orlando 